Coming to an understanding.

"You will never have a friend if you must have one without faults" -Anonymous

* I read this quote in my AP English class today and immediately after, I got lost in thought. Ms. Cooper kept the lecture up while my mind raced back and forth from thought to picture to memory. I realized all the wrongs I have committed over the years.

Truth be told, I have always been shallow when it comes to people, mainly the ones that I have dated. Things would be great for a month or two, and then I started to pick out the flaws. I think it's because I have never been mature enough to believe that no one is perfect. I always thought "Hey, I'll find the perfect person and fall deeply love with them one day." But, you know what? Our faults and imperfections make us who we are. Being yourself and showing the true you is the only way to ever have a truly meaningful relationship, whether it be with a friend or a significant other. I have realized that what I used to be was completely terrible. I became mean..cold...harsh and even brutal. I found faults and I picked at them until I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't understand why someone had such an imperfection and i didn't like it so I told them and it all blew up. Needless to say, I had about 5 relationships that all ended within 3 months because I could not get over what I found. I thought that their imperfections somehow made them less beautiful. What I failed to realize is that, It is exactly those imperfections that make someone beautiful, handsome, sexy..etc.

So, I sat in class speechless, broken and distraught because I felt absolutely horrible realizing how wrong I was and how badly I acted. That was it for me, I was stuck in my head constantly wondering and thinking and figuring everything out.

Finally, I came to an understanding within myself.

I am ready to let myself be happy. I am ready to stop looking for wrongs and faults and imperfections. I am ready to just let happiness happen. Did you know that EVERYONE has the right to be happy?

So, here we go. I am in a new relationship with this lovely guy, Aarron, and I know that he is not perfect. I accept that because finally I understand it. I'm not perfect, you're not perfect, he is not perfect. NO ONE will ever be able to live up to that word. I honestly accept that now. I understand it and I am completely comfortable with this whole accepting flaws thing.

Upon entering someones life, the "unspoken understanding" is that you must like them for who and what they are. If you can't, then by their side is not where you're meant to be.

-I am not a quitter, I'm a fighter and this is something that I believe in, so I am going to fight for my place in someones life if need be. If someone can love and accept my many flaws,faults,imperfections, which ever you choose to say, then the very least I can do is love and accept them right back. I feel wiser now. Kinder and more gentle. I am more mature and understanding and no longer will I be classified as shallow and misled.

NO ONE is perfect and I like it that way.