I broke up with him twice and he still calls me because he feels in his gut that there is something wrong. I'm in tears on the couch, clutching my knees tightly to my chest as I answer the phone and hear his voice so soft in my mind before he even speaks. He called because he felt like there was something wrong with me. I don't know how he does it, but he always knows. Human kindness. Compassion. Unconditional love. I've never felt it so strong in all my 15 years of life. He is hurting more than me and he is dealing with a broken heart. A heart that I broke. Yet he finds the ability to dial my number and take the pain just to try and make me feel better. Completely throwing his own feelings out the door. I was crying, I was shaken up. I had just got off the phone with my dad who doesn't have a job and is very depressed living with people who are not even friends of his. He had been telling me that I should try to get my mom to let him come back home. My mother had just got off the phone with a guy in Ohio that she had/still has feelings for. I know that my parents will never be together again but breaking my dads spirit even more is out of the question for me. It doesn't even register in my head. I said "Dad, I'll talk to her when you get a job." To which he replies "I'm not going to be around much longer Amber." I hang up with my dad and I run into the house and pace a bit. I place myself in the corner near the door and I burst into tears. As soon as I lay on the couch and begin to shake, My phone rings. It's Kevin... I answered without even thinking and instantly the tears get worse. I am now sobbing. He instantly said "I knew it." We talked for 26 minutes and my face was completely clear of any sadness I had before. People never cease to amaze me. He pushed through his pain and his sorrow to try and make me feel somewhat better. His kindness and his compassion along with his strength and his courage makes him one of the most amazing people I have ever had the pleasure to be close to. Kevin Maxwell you will forever be in my heart and I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Human? Astonishment
I broke up with him twice and he still calls me because he feels in his gut that there is something wrong. I'm in tears on the couch, clutching my knees tightly to my chest as I answer the phone and hear his voice so soft in my mind before he even speaks. He called because he felt like there was something wrong with me. I don't know how he does it, but he always knows. Human kindness. Compassion. Unconditional love. I've never felt it so strong in all my 15 years of life. He is hurting more than me and he is dealing with a broken heart. A heart that I broke. Yet he finds the ability to dial my number and take the pain just to try and make me feel better. Completely throwing his own feelings out the door. I was crying, I was shaken up. I had just got off the phone with my dad who doesn't have a job and is very depressed living with people who are not even friends of his. He had been telling me that I should try to get my mom to let him come back home. My mother had just got off the phone with a guy in Ohio that she had/still has feelings for. I know that my parents will never be together again but breaking my dads spirit even more is out of the question for me. It doesn't even register in my head. I said "Dad, I'll talk to her when you get a job." To which he replies "I'm not going to be around much longer Amber." I hang up with my dad and I run into the house and pace a bit. I place myself in the corner near the door and I burst into tears. As soon as I lay on the couch and begin to shake, My phone rings. It's Kevin... I answered without even thinking and instantly the tears get worse. I am now sobbing. He instantly said "I knew it." We talked for 26 minutes and my face was completely clear of any sadness I had before. People never cease to amaze me. He pushed through his pain and his sorrow to try and make me feel somewhat better. His kindness and his compassion along with his strength and his courage makes him one of the most amazing people I have ever had the pleasure to be close to. Kevin Maxwell you will forever be in my heart and I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you.
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